Monday, November 07, 2011


I'm not going to lie and say I'm feeling fresh as a daisy, but honestly, even after getting home last night at midnight, I still feel like I had a more relaxing weekend than I usually do when I am at home! No church, no synagogue, no teaching, just flying around and picking up rental cars and eating at abysmal restaurants and putting on make-up, and then, well...singing an audition.

My favorite moment on the flight there was when I got to my seat, I saw a gentleman sitting in it. "Oh," I said, smiling, "I think that might be my seat...the one on the aisle?"

"Oh, okay," He said, as if he were surprised. "I was hoping you could trade with me because I have such long legs I really like to be on an aisle."

His legs, I might add, were no longer than mine.

"Well," I said, still smiling, "I'd be happy to, as long as you are okay with getting up to let me out to go to the bathroom regularly, as I drink a lot of water when I'm flying."

He looked oddly shocked. I mean I really didn't think it was that weird of a thing to say. I drink a lot of water, therefore, I have to pee a lot, therefore, you'll have to get up a lot if I let you have the aisle.

He hemmed and he hawed, I continued to smile, and he obligingly slid into the middle seat and relinquished the prized aisle to moi, the one that I had, mind you, purposely booked for the very reason I explained. I then proceeded to put on my Vick's Vapo Rub and my socks, and drink an entire VERY large bottle of water, and consider what about that exchange had made him so uncomfortable. And you know, I think he was honestly, just really surprised that I didn't just say yes, of course. When I started to think about it, I felt this tiny twinge of anger. I felt put upon, annoyed that he would ask me to give up the seat I had booked, for a very specific reason, when he did not take the time to plan ahead to do the same for himself. He probably does this every time he flies. Just asks people to move, and they do.

Then, I thought, why would I create this entire script in my mind about this and a complex story surrounding this situation? I'm going to actually put myself into a place of anger over something that is not even an issue. I'm in the damn seat, that's all that matters! The fact is, he had the right to ask. I had the right to say no.

Later, when a very well-hydrated young opera singer arrived at the rental car pick up, low and behold, a VERY bright yellow car had been assigned to me. The young man who gave me the keys said that he thought that an "attractive lady" like me would enjoy a bright yellow car. I have to admit I was flattered to be called attractive, since I've kind of felt lately like my powers of attraction are drying up...but the car....the car. It was hideous on a whole other level. Does it matter? Is it worth hurting this guy's feelings? I would be driving it only for about 24 hours. The older gentleman after me got a nice civilized white car. But, there I was, with my yellow car of shame, driving away down the road to find my hotel and the nearest place to get something to eat.

On the subject of food...why must everything be so horribly over-salted? Okay, I'm done.

It's scary how much free time I had. I did my nails, I shopped, I watched Law and Order. It was awesome.

But here's the thing. The actual audition part: you know, the whole reason I did this...

When I got there, my warm-up went great, everything felt wonderful. Somehow between talking to the pianist, greeting the panel, and walking up on stage, I lost my ability to basically breathe.

The first piece was full of unusual breaths and singing that was not as controlled as I wanted it to be. I had to really work hard at not hating myself for that.

The second piece was great.

But I am concerned they would have already formed their opinions of me by the time I opened my mouth to sing a second selection.

What can I do? Nothing.


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