The rain on the East Coast has me in that state of mind where all I can think about today is getting home to put on my leggings, eat some pasta, and watch Sex and the City re-runs.
I've made the decision that it's time I FORCE myself to record my practice sessions and listen to them, as a matter of discipline. It will help me to listen to myself both more objectively, and less from the stand-point of wanting to commit suicide every time I hear a recording of myself, and more in the interest of self-diagnosis. I hope to some day become either so good that I like the way I sound in recordings, or so zen that I can look at it as as learning opportunity. At this point it is still just PAINFUL. Today it was basically just really depressing to listen to myself sing that Handel aria I've been working on. Then the question is: Is this just not a good aria for me, or do I think focused practice can make it work eventually? How many hours have I actually just wasted trying to pound music into my voice that isn't meant for me in the first place? Maybe I should confine my practicing to music I am scheduled to sing in the near future, which would nip this whole agonizing bit in the bud. Because I don't have a choice... I agreed to do it, and therefore, I MUST sing it. There. Now that's a plan.