May 9

Last night. First rehearsal. The leads were good, and nice, and my part is small and easy, and I had no trouble coming in at that one part I spent so much time worrying about before. But there was another part that kind of presented a problem... I GUESS I could blame it on the fact that one of the major characters from who I get my A) motivation for the line I sing, and B) get my note and cue was not there at the rehearsal last night. I think he was on his way back from Vienna or something. Nevertheless, I spent a good deal of time in the car last night, listening to it over and over and beating myself up, because, Conte di Luna or no Conte, I feel I should be able to count my way through something and get my entrance no matter what. It doesn't help that there's a HUGE tempo change like ONE beat before I come in, that he sets up for me with his line. So, I'll take it home at lunch today and see what I can figure out.

I absolutely stand in awe of anyone who can sing Leonora in Trovatore. It is just like unbelievably hard. I asked my own fearless Leonora what she thought and she told me emphatically, that no, Violetta and Butterfly are much worse. Well, yes, I guess, now that you mention it, you brave woman, they probably aren't the singing equivolent of a walk in the park either. But for me the really daunting thing about Leonora is how really LOUD you have to be, AND you have to have a thillingly easy high voice, and a strong, resonant middle and lower voice, AND you have to be able to sing all that coloratura while somehow remaining metronomically correct so that you can be with everyone else. It really leaves very little room for any kind of, well, screw ups. I think it was Caruso who said that the only thing you need to do Trovatore is "The four best singers in the world."

The dilemma with the drive to rehearsals, however, is that there are just way to many opportunities to stop and eat something bad. So I try to avoid this by packing things to eat, like low fat popcorn, which allows me to still have the crunchy/salty thing going on, and I pack grapes sometimes and granola bars...because, people, I'm feeling like this summer is going to go by very quickly. And suddenly, I'm going to be standing in front of the mirror a week before my wedding crying because I didn't lose any weight over the summer and I have my own poor planning to thank for it. The goal I have set for myself does not at this time feel really very close, and until I reach that goal, I can't buy clothes...not that I have money for clothes, but sighhhh.

I think what I really need to do is to get lots of pictures of beautiful Maui beaches and girls in bikinis and tape them on my computer, my mirrors, my refrigerator door, to remind myself about my honeymoon and how I NEED to look in order to go on it.

For further inspiration, I'll be reading this.