Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Dec. 23

It's after 11 pm and I've just wrapped my final gift.

I made the most fabulous soup for Christmas Eve, and it's just waiting in the fridge to be reheated when we get back from PA tomorrow.

I finished packaging and tying all manner of ribbons around the chocolate covered pretzel sticks I made for my aunts.

I sent poor Joe out to have prints made of all the pics I've been promising people from the wedding. (What a drama that has been)

I've only had two glasses of wine tonight,and I thought it would take at least five.

So, I think we can have Christmas now.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

What I want for Christmas

1. Beyonce's new album

2. Everyone to like the presents I got them

3. To drink lots of champagne

4. Jewels, furs, expensive purses

5. To be cast from a couple of these auditions I've been schlepping all over creation to do

6. To be with my fam, Joe, and my friends and to drink and go shopping and and play cards

7. To learn Donna Elvira. That's a big one. Oy. It needs to be memorized in a month.

8. To not gain ten pounds eating things

9. To have some sense that things are as bad as they are going to get in this crazy country, and that we can only go up from here

10. To stay completely, one-hundred percent focused on whatever is happening in the moment, and not to be sad about the past or anxious about the future

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I have the greatest difficulty coming up with pithy titles for my posts, so I guess the easiest thing to fall back on is simply the day of the week. Creativity is found in the present moment, or so my "guru" says. Apparently, I've been living a little too much in the future: the next audition, the Christmas activities coming up...

I am feeling more and more settled all the time into my place, the decorations done, the beige couches, even, are growing on me. As much as I love auditioning, I am simply so comfortable at home, especially when the weather is icky, that I have a hard time getting myself out the door...

And the voice! It's been a swollen, hormonal mess the past couple of days-- although in my lesson last night, T never ceases to amaze me with his uncanny ability to tune things up in such a way that it feels like I'm not such a mess after all. Lucky for me, since, though I'm broke as a joke, I've somehow got to afford a trip to NYC on Thursday for another audition.

After Christmas, I suspect it will even out a bit, I HOPE!!! I'd like to be able to eat a great dinner before Thais at the Met with Renee, just after New Years!~ It's been a while since I've seen La Fleming live, so it should lovely, with her all decked out in Christian LaCroix. Jonathan tells me it's divine.

In the meantime, we've still got some shopping days left til Christmas, and I really need to be invited to more holiday parties...the 60 degree weather is NOT putting me in the mood. Snow? Please???

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I love new york

I really do. Every time I go, I think how much I would someday love to live there.

And every time I go home to my nice comfortable cheap apartment in Baltimore, and look at my bank statement, I realize just how perfectly fine it is that I don't live there at the moment. Some day.

My jaunt to "the city" yesterday was super fun, and I was so relieved that even despite the frigid conditions, my two arias went VERY well. I could even go so far as to say I was on fire. Which is a dumb phrase, but describes my emotions quite well. So, it wasn't a wasted trip.

I did something really daring, too. I wore a dressy black turtleneck with a black skirt and black heels for the audition. This has never been done before. It is highly unusual, as you are usually supposed to try to show off your hot cleavage at auditions. But I was just too cold, people. And I thought, by golly! I'll be damned if I'm going to freeze my ass off for these people!

At the studio, I ran into my friend Jonathan, who is always a good person to ask about these things, and looked really dapper himself. "It's unusual to wear a turtleneck," he smiled tactfully, "do you have another option?"

Yes I did have something else, but I didn't wear it. I wore the turtleneck anyway, and it was almost scary how comfortable I felt standing there singing my little heart out. It was too cold for cleavage.

Then we three went to lunch and it was just the best day.

Friday, December 05, 2008


Today is a long day. I have to work a concert tonight, but have a good dinner to look forward to at least!! Joe is making lasagna. Which he is quite good at. Among other things. I'm kind of glazed over today-- I slept fine, but maybe it was the HUGE vodka soda I had at the Monument Lighting last night...then we came home and watched this entirely inappropriate movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," most of which I was asleep for.

Tomorrow, a baby shower!! Fun. Especially because it is not my own.

Sunday: Second sunday of advent, and I LOVE it. Love advent. Warm, fuzzy, hopeful. Even half-buddhists can enjoy a good advent service.

Monday-- back to NYC for auditions-- but this time Joe can come, and it will be a fun road trip day, I hope, and maybe lunch with JM? I hope so much. I would like to eat at that Vietnamese place again, please! I surprise myself sometimes, because auditions are really a fun adventure for me, and have ceased to be scary and stressful, except of course, when someone changes your scheduled time slot for an hour earlier without telling you. That sucks. Sabotage???? Does someone have it in for me?? I doubt it.

At some point, I have got to get down to the business of buying Christmas presents and learning recits. For realz.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

I will survive

the crazy end of the semester insanity that is infiltrating every corner of this place!

I came in this morning feeling so good, so happy, and so invigorated after the audition yesterday, and my first AVA audition experience. Intimidation lurks in every practice room-- but I USED it. I sang louder, prouder, and with more focus. I ran into a few singers I knew, and I met a mezzo at the pizza place around the corner who was just lovely and showed me where to go to get a practice room, etc.

I don't care that I spend my days wandering lost around cities, I don't care that I spend all my money on lessons and travel, I don't care that every night I sleep in a damp bed so that my humidifier can keep my throat moist in my desert of a bedroom, and I don't even care that every morning I wake up and the first thing I think about is my voice. I just love singing.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


oh the drama!

I was lost and wandering around a certain East Coast city for so long that I thought I would eat my own arm-- I was that hungry.

Until an honorable city cop came to my rescue. I am certainly not above doing the damsel in distress thing if it will get me to the nearest on-ramp for 95, people.

No siree.

Three circles around the block and I finally figured out where I was supposed to go. And then it was rush hour.

I love my life.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Loves it

I love Christmas. Like a lot. And for the first time, as a married person, I'm in the position of needing begin some new traditions, separate from our families, for this year.
I've got some ideas, and we've made some plans, but I guess we'll have to see whether we like them enough to make them a tradition. I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself to make it "magical." Or something like that.

One thing I'd like to try doing, oddly enough, is roasting a turkey. I became kind of intrigued with the process at Thanksgiving, so the plan is to buy one on sale and try it out on a random monday night when it doesn't matter if it's ruined and I could potentially just throw it out. No one to impress, and no pressure to perform. At my stage of life, it stands to reason that I've got a good 15 years before I'd be called upon to make a turkey myself, but you never know. With mothers around, who would want to eat mine? Nobody-- that's who.

Another Christmas observation: whenever I hear Christmas songs being played in the stores, I feel like crying. What can this possibly mean? That I am hormonal wreck? That I am a freak? Or just that I am a hopelessly idealistic sap?

The good news is: I have my VERY own holly tree in the back yard. How's that for holiday magic?

Monday, December 01, 2008


I'm back. And so are my cats. Oh how I missed them!!!!

I get scared sometimes when I think about what a crazy cat lady I could easily become. I remind Joe almost daily to keep me from getting another. Two is the limit. The absolute outer limit.

Well, kids, I'm back on the horse, and Wednesday, it's off to Philly for another audition. Joe can't join me on the road trip, so I will have to rely on the provided accompanist for the first time in months! Which is weird for me, actually, but the lovely thing about being a lyric soprano is that everybody knows your rep. And I'm not singing anything wild and wooly, so it should be okay. Although I'll miss Joe, it will be a fun Jessica day trip and I'll take myself out to lunch and maybe stop to shop on the way home. I am the kind of person that loves to be alone from time to time, and without those little breaks in the action I start to feel like I might scream. Because of familial obligations and Thanksgiving (I have lots of reasons to be thankful), I have had precious little Jessica time.

I did my nails last night (aren't you just thrilled I'm blogging about such important topics) and used a cheap nail polish that I must have neglected to throw out on my last nail-polish purging crusade. It looked like such a lovely color-- dark burgundy (which I always feel like wearing after watching The Hills)-- and today, already, it's chipped. Damn. Such an annoying color to put on evenly and properly, too, with no smudges.

Tonight, after my lesson with my teacher maestro extraordinaire, I will come home and finish decorating the tree. It's ten feet and has 1000 mini-lights. I've done the top and just need to finish up the bottom... when that's all done, we can start thinking about what a drag it's going to be to take it down in a month. oy.

And now, off to another fierce inner-acoustical extravaganza.