Tuesday: fear factor

I have been MIA lately blog friends, but I bet you haven't missed me. We're all auditioning and preparing and taking buses and trains to sing for people and being brave. I applaud you.

I was thinking about the popular exhortation to "do one thing everyday that scares you," and realized that musicians and singers specifically are way over their quota especially at this time of year. If doing one thing everyday that scares you is truly and act that will enrich your life and develop your character (and I believe it is), we've got a lot of character building happening.

As I contemplate that phrase, it does make me a bit more introspective (as if I'm ever not), and wonder what I do or avoid doing out of fear. The other day another singer asked me about the results of an audition I'd done, and when I said I wasn't cast, the person asked who had been cast instead of me. I am so glad I stopped to think before I answered, because what was about to come out of my mouth was an answer specifically designed to make myself feel better by down-playing the talents of the other singer and the judgement of the audition panel. Oh, I've done it before. And I'm not proud. Phew, I avoided it this time.

Why would I ever think that that kind of thing would actually make me look good, make me feel better, or help to elevate the already strained atmosphere of classical singing? Maybe I need to just practice saying the phrase: "I think I must not have been what they were looking for. I better get back to work!"

Seeing another singer succeed should make me feel all the more hopeful and motivated to make myself more ready for that opportunity when it does come. It should give me the sense that it IS possible, not make me want to give up altogether because it was her instead of me.

Talk about facing your fears.