Tuesday

There is so much internal drama for me these last couple days that I am waking up with headaches and it's been tough to get myself to work in the mornings...but today, I made the very brilliant decision to listen to some Freni/Pavarotti in the office, before anyone else showed up. And I feel better already.

The beach was beyond fun. Poor or not poor, you can always count on a nice sunny day, and a gorgeous tan to bring you out of your financially-driven mood slump. I am very lucky, also, because there is no one in the whole world I would rather hang out with than Joe, and the fact that I happen to be married to him makes life even better.

This week and next, I'm getting ready for several auditions, and my first lesson in over a month. I'm feeling a little jaw tension these days-- not necessarily when I'm singing (we singers are super careful to make sure that isn't allowed to sneak in), but just walking around in everyday life, and I'm a little concerned about that-- might be time to start sleeping with a bite plate. And I'm pretty sure the headachy stuff is related as well. We shall see. At this point, I don't think it's affecting my singing, except for the fact that I don't particularly feel like practicing! Don't tell my teacher, but I pop an advil and then head to the piano to warm up.

After the auditions and my friend's wedding are over, the next directive is my audition recording, and making some decisions about repertoire. It's difficult to know where to place myself on the sliding scale of vocal weight and what to sing when I can't hear myself in any real or trustworthy way, until, of course, the recording is made. It's so easy to hear someone else and know just what I think they should sing! But everyday, it's more clear exactly where I fit, and I do feel that the roles in which I've been cast of late are placing me into a category that I like being in: big Italian. This is good. The hardest part about being a singer is wishing you could be a kind of singer that is NOT what you actually are at all. Now, beyond the fact that it would be wicked cool to be able to whip out some Queen of the Night on someone's ass, I have always wanted to basically be a lyric soprano. And, folks, it looks like that's what I am. I think my look works for that type of role as well, aside from not being a supermodel yet. But we're working on that. Four damn days a week we're working on it, people.