Wednesday

Someone asked me again yesterday when I was planning to have a baby. I always feel like I have to defend myself and my reasoning for not having any inclination to do so whatsoever. It is an icky feeling.

And in order to defend against all icky feelings, one must arm themselves with very high notes, very sexy chest voice singing, and gorgeous hands and feet. Which is exactly why I am finally getting a pedi tonight. It looks like it might just be sandal weather, and I'd rather not put people off their feed by showcasing my current toe situation to all the world.

There are just certain things, I find, that people expect you to do, as a woman. I think I have done a pretty good job of conforming to most of them. For a long time, I felt like I needed to conform to be "right." But as I got older, and by the time I got married, for sure, I had switched pretty much completely over to doing things because they felt like the "right thing to do" for ME. I am reminded every time someone asks me an uncomfortable question, that I have to work even harder at not allowing the judge inside myself to turn on when people decide to try doing something a little differently than everyone else. I've always had a strong set of values when it comes to what I believe is right and wrong, but things like having a baby, who you love, getting married/not getting married, etc. definitely don't fall into the "right and wrong" category. Things that do: RSVPing, being nice, putting others before yourself, returning calls, honesty, showing up, and loyalty.

Also, singing in tune.