Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I am studying, studying, counting, metronoming like a good girl, and still can't figure out how to come in at the right place in this one part of an ensemble. Please tell me everybody has drama like this sometimes...I feel silly because it really is a rather minuscule role, and therefore there is no excuse to not have ever bit of it learned perfectly by, well, tomorrow night.

I keep telling myself that when there's a conductor and I can see a down beat, I'll be in good shape. But that sort of thing seems unreliable, because, A) what if he forgets (conductors are people too), or B) what if I can't see him?

The reality is that I will probably spend the rest of the day pounding it out and stressing, only to realize, tomorrow, with the rest of the ensemble that it's all actually very clear and I need to cool it.

In other news, the driving time is affording me time to talk on the phone, an activity which I usually loathe. Is there a stronger word for hate than loathe? I don't think so. But, when you're driving a long way and have a headset, it seems like a logical thing to do. So last night I talked to my grandmother, and it was a nice long conversation, and we solved every one's problems for them. Well, actually, not really. I don't know why, but I always forget how she's my favorite person in the world to have a phone conversation with-- unfailingly comforting and supportive, always impressed by any small accomplishment, and never put off by the occasional bad word or questionable story. I think I need to call her more often.

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