Wednesday, July 27, 2011


I just got back from an extended weekend of family fun at the beach. I laughed the whole time. Like real laughter. The kind where you can't breathe.

It was in the midst of one of these bouts that I realized I couldn't remember how long it had been since I'd laughed like that. In school I was the girl who laughed at everything-- all the jokes the boys made, even the dumb ones. I was a giggle-box, and I think it probably drove everyone nuts. Laughing was a really big part of my day. I also had buck teeth and thick glasses, and child-bearing hips, even at that tender age, so you can imagine. It's a wonder I could muster a snicker. Now I seem to have learned not to be such an annoying little girl. Which actually might not be as great of an accomplishment as it sounds! I still have issues with lots of things about looks, but back then, I have to admit, I looked way worse. But I don't remember even really caring so much--it barely bothered me back then that I wasn't that pretty. Now I am a disaster if I forget to put on mascara one morning. Maybe it was all the laughing that kept me from worrying about things that just don't matter.

How healing it is to be around people who can make you laugh, just ordering breakfast, sitting on the beach, doing whatever. To get that much laughing in is like the best treat in the world.

And coming home was tough, but I suddenly have all this motivation and I don't exactly know where it came from! I am preparing for coachings, auditions, performances with renewed vigor. Oh, and I am very tan. :)

1 comment:

Mendel Markel, said...

I guess different people do different things as kids to counter self confidence issues. I used to be the clown and never took anything seriously. Looking back I think for me it was a fear of failure. Aim to fail and you can't but succeed at it. I used to be very afraid to sing in public as well. Always got kicked out of school choir by clowning around so I wouldn't have to be vulnerable and sing in front of people. I still have stage fright, but now I use it to perform better instead of to avoid performing.