What I do when I'm nervous

Okay, so I had a trial run of some new arias on Sunday night.  Two of my friends and I give a couple of these little recitals a year to get our new pieces on their feet, and brush up old ones.

My rehearsal for said little recital was Saturday-- it did not go well.  I felt like a true disaster after it was over-- my voice was tired and I was exhausted.  In short, I was totally freaked out about the performance.  To top it all off, the next morning for church, I had a new seven page anthem that I'd never sung before, and I always fund that vocally and mentally taxing.  Its almost like they plan it this way!  Although they are kind people and I'm sure they didn't.

Saturday night of course I couldn't DO anything to take my mind off it.  I was supposed to be resting.  It would have been inadvisable to drink a lot, although I did think about it.  I needed a project, so I started going through the cookbooks.  You know, it occurs to me that the weight loss thing would go quicker and easier if I started a needlework project instead, or if I had the patience to just read the whole night, but I was antsy, and sitting with a quiet, calorie-free project wasn't going to be an option.

So I made caramel.

Brothers and sisters, you have not felt the wrath of God until you look with wide eyes into a bowl of roiling, boiling hot sugar and butter, and then try to pour it into a pan all the while fearing that if you slip, you will without a doubt melt your entire hand off.   That is real fear.  Singing Violetta for an audience of critical travel-weary amateur musician old people?  Not even close.  

But once it was in the pan, oh, the beauty.  I sprinkled sea-salt on top and let it set.  Then I read a couple chapters of Diana Vreeland.  Then I came back and carefully cut it into squares and twisted it into wax paper.  Oh my I was so proud.  It was the most beautiful little pile of rustically wrapped caramels I have 'ere seen.  Looking at that all my worries faded away, and I slept well that night, knowing that whatever the outcome of the try-out recital, I had my caramel career to fall back on.