that, perhaps, I am simply putting the cart before the horse. There isn't anything to worry about until there's something to worry about, and the revelation came to me in my coaching on Saturday that perhaps I'm just a little burnt out. It's been an intense summer psychologically and emotionally, and taking a week off from singing wouldn't kill me. So this week, besides church rep, I am just going to take it easy, and stop forcing myself to be such a driven girl for just a week.
It was a fun weekend. I rearranged the living room and did some girlie stuff like that, and spent time with people I hadn't seen in a while.
This weekend, I am really excited about a trip to Pittsburgh to see my family...always drama, but rejuvenating in a way, too.
Happy monday.
All dressed up and everywhere to go
Monday, August 24, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Thursday
I am soooo out of it, and not feeling particularly well. I have no idea why, but I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything-- not practicing (although I dutifully do it anyway), not applying for things, not working out...it is a very weird feeling for me. Usually, I goal-oriented to a fault. I must just be having an off week, or maybe I can blame it on the muggy, hot weather?
While I have gigs early in 2010, at the moment, there is nothing pressing (except for the weekly church solo) and while I have finished my recording, and added four new arias to my rep this summer, I feel somehow as if I haven't accomplished much. I spent all of last summer and fall rehearsing and learning new roles, and well, there was my wedding, and everything was such a whirlwind that this summer's relaxed pace has kind of freaked me out. Or maybe this is what summer is supposed to feel like?
As silly as it may sound, it actually scares me a little that I have had so much time to cook, and that it's something I'm so into, because I feel that the opera singer side of Jessica is feeling a little jealous of all the attention the other side of Jessica is getting, and the real fun I have making new recipes. Like perhaps that's energy that would be better spent learning new rep, saving every penny for applications, going to lessons, coachings, etc. That is the small sneaking suspicion that is always in the back of my mind.
Then there is the ever looming question of YAPs. As a person who is lucky to have a job that pays the bills and provides insurance, I don't think I could just up and quit for something like a young artist program. So the very thing that makes me feel a modicum of security, also makes me feel a little trapped. While it's true that YAPs don't have a corner on creating successful careers, I guess to me, right now, and with the current state of opera in America, it kind of feels like they do. While my stated directive this year was to audition for everything humanly possible (because I finally feel that I am at least approaching vocal readiness for something like a larger YAP), it seems a bit ridiculous to think of spending the money on applications for things I couldn't forseeably just abandon my source of sustenance and pick up and move for. I do feel that having these things on my resume would be invaluable, however, and I'm just very confused as to what to do.
The great thing, and the upside of this whole story is that there are several summer-time YAP options that would work out well, and if I were to be selected for one, it wouldn't necessarily have to lead to the collapse of my entire life as I know it. So we will focus on that, and when I get my mojo back, jump back on the horse.
While I have gigs early in 2010, at the moment, there is nothing pressing (except for the weekly church solo) and while I have finished my recording, and added four new arias to my rep this summer, I feel somehow as if I haven't accomplished much. I spent all of last summer and fall rehearsing and learning new roles, and well, there was my wedding, and everything was such a whirlwind that this summer's relaxed pace has kind of freaked me out. Or maybe this is what summer is supposed to feel like?
As silly as it may sound, it actually scares me a little that I have had so much time to cook, and that it's something I'm so into, because I feel that the opera singer side of Jessica is feeling a little jealous of all the attention the other side of Jessica is getting, and the real fun I have making new recipes. Like perhaps that's energy that would be better spent learning new rep, saving every penny for applications, going to lessons, coachings, etc. That is the small sneaking suspicion that is always in the back of my mind.
Then there is the ever looming question of YAPs. As a person who is lucky to have a job that pays the bills and provides insurance, I don't think I could just up and quit for something like a young artist program. So the very thing that makes me feel a modicum of security, also makes me feel a little trapped. While it's true that YAPs don't have a corner on creating successful careers, I guess to me, right now, and with the current state of opera in America, it kind of feels like they do. While my stated directive this year was to audition for everything humanly possible (because I finally feel that I am at least approaching vocal readiness for something like a larger YAP), it seems a bit ridiculous to think of spending the money on applications for things I couldn't forseeably just abandon my source of sustenance and pick up and move for. I do feel that having these things on my resume would be invaluable, however, and I'm just very confused as to what to do.
The great thing, and the upside of this whole story is that there are several summer-time YAP options that would work out well, and if I were to be selected for one, it wouldn't necessarily have to lead to the collapse of my entire life as I know it. So we will focus on that, and when I get my mojo back, jump back on the horse.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Back!
Not that any of your are pining away or anything, but I'm back from the beach, and back to normal life, except with an absolutely killer tan. Almost normal-- I have to get my a** back in the gym-- just couldn't bring myself to do it today, my first day back at work. Sigh. After an incredible weekend-- one of my favorites in months!! The week at the beach was good too, let me tell you, but coming home is lovely, I must say. I think I am just in love with home. It is comfortable, and my cats are there, and my pots and pans and gigantic television and piano.
I was a little worried about the fact that I hadn't opened my mouth to sing in a solid five days-- but let's just say, I should do that more often! It was like riding a bike, only better, with a completely rested, easy sound and lots of focus in the lower middle, and an easy E-flat. Wowzers. It's a little sad that I didn't have any auditions to go to or anything, but now I know. Rest is a good thing, and obsessive practicing (or recording) is counter-productive. Which, at my ripe old age, I suppose I should know.
One of the reasons this weekend was so great was that, after having just finished the book of the same name, I went to see "Julie & Julia." It was just a purely wonderful movie and a fabulous way to spend an hour an a half or so. That was last night-- after I had spent Saturday and most of Sunday cooking, was a little worn out, and a lot emotional...why? No idea. I guess there is a little wonder involved in cooking for me, kind of like singing. Just like sometimes I still can't believe it when I sing something well, I couldn't believe it when I roasted a whole chicken all by myself and it was SO good, as was the stock I made out of the bones, and the pot pie I made with the left overs. Talk about satisfying.
Except that I will always prefer singing, because at the end of a performance, they clap for you, and you walk away and there are never dirty dishes.
I was a little worried about the fact that I hadn't opened my mouth to sing in a solid five days-- but let's just say, I should do that more often! It was like riding a bike, only better, with a completely rested, easy sound and lots of focus in the lower middle, and an easy E-flat. Wowzers. It's a little sad that I didn't have any auditions to go to or anything, but now I know. Rest is a good thing, and obsessive practicing (or recording) is counter-productive. Which, at my ripe old age, I suppose I should know.
One of the reasons this weekend was so great was that, after having just finished the book of the same name, I went to see "Julie & Julia." It was just a purely wonderful movie and a fabulous way to spend an hour an a half or so. That was last night-- after I had spent Saturday and most of Sunday cooking, was a little worn out, and a lot emotional...why? No idea. I guess there is a little wonder involved in cooking for me, kind of like singing. Just like sometimes I still can't believe it when I sing something well, I couldn't believe it when I roasted a whole chicken all by myself and it was SO good, as was the stock I made out of the bones, and the pot pie I made with the left overs. Talk about satisfying.
Except that I will always prefer singing, because at the end of a performance, they clap for you, and you walk away and there are never dirty dishes.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Friday: finally
Last night I made chicken, my grandmother's green beans with bacon, spinach, and mashed potatoes for dinner. It was one of those old timey kind of meals that went sadly wrong, and I'll tell you why. The recipe for the chicken with pan sauce was down right disgusting. I should have paid attention to the warning at the bottom of the page: "The Food Network has not tested this recipe, and therefore cannot vouch for its results," or something like that. I'm starting to think I should only make recipes that my favorite food bloggers recommend, because I trust their descriptions and honest analysis of the food-- since, frankly, I can't keep wasting money like this. The chicken was edible, I guess, but I was pissed. We wouldn't have starved, though, because the green beans and mashed potatoes turned out beautifully and were really delish.
I think it may have added to my annoyance, however, that I had just done seven takes of various soprano arias for a recording, was tired, and HUNGRY. The recording is nearly done. Michaela's aria is literally killing me-- in what I thought was the PERFECT take, the recorder cut off, flashing that the memory was full. Shame on me for not checking these things. So I still need to get a good recording of that one, but the other four are done. Now for the editing, and then we're off to the YAP races, and I will be sending my CDs to the four corners of the globe. Good times.
Next week we are off to Hilton Head, and I have to say, I feel like we deserve it. It's been quite a summer of drama with my family, friends, and, yes, myself. I need a pedicure before I go, but other than that: I'm ready.
I think it may have added to my annoyance, however, that I had just done seven takes of various soprano arias for a recording, was tired, and HUNGRY. The recording is nearly done. Michaela's aria is literally killing me-- in what I thought was the PERFECT take, the recorder cut off, flashing that the memory was full. Shame on me for not checking these things. So I still need to get a good recording of that one, but the other four are done. Now for the editing, and then we're off to the YAP races, and I will be sending my CDs to the four corners of the globe. Good times.
Next week we are off to Hilton Head, and I have to say, I feel like we deserve it. It's been quite a summer of drama with my family, friends, and, yes, myself. I need a pedicure before I go, but other than that: I'm ready.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Wednesday
RECORDING!!! It usually makes me very nervous, crazy, scary focused, and neurotic. "Scary focused" is a technical term, that has come to be used by my husband to describe me when I am literally unable to smile, laugh, converse or think about anything other than the thing I'm scary focused on. If it happened too often, I think my marriage would end in divorce...just kidding. But really, it's probably not that far off.
The hall I had been using to record in the past is about an hour away (the very ridiculous and ironic part is that I work literally steps from four perfectly lovely concert halls every day-- but can I use those? No.), and the plan yesterday was for me to drive up after work...RIGHT at rush hour. After thinking about that for, oh, about five seconds, I realized that it was one of the dumbest plans I've ever made. Having just assumed we should do the recording in that particular space because we always have-- but still-- to drive up 95 at rush hour, on top of how nervous I usually get about making a recording...well, it would have been a disaster.
Well, it seems, my friends, that I had completely overlooked the perfectly wonderful recording venue in my OWN living room! Wood floors, high ceilings, silent neighbors, shutters to block street noise, and the best piano around! It seemed to good to be true, but we just thought: Let's try it, and see what happens. I felt so relaxed, happy, and, well, at home in my surroundings (having silenced the phones and taken the cats bells off), that I was able to get a great version of Donde lieta and Porgi, amor in two takes each. I tried for Je dis, but by that time, I was tired, and the aria itself makes me even tired-er, so, while one of the takes had some surprisingly good things in it, there were some not quite in tune moments, and some Renee-like over emoting problems. I didn't stress about it and sing it five more times (always to my poor little voice's detriment) like I usually do, because there is always tomorrow, when you are recording in your own house. Talk about unbelievable fortune, to listen to the play back and hear that the quality was great. I have never been more thrilled.
So tonight, we will come home, eat a normal dinner (Melissa's 4 step chicken with spinach and mashed potatoes because I have some Yukon golds that are on their last legs), and get back to work on finishing up.
The hall I had been using to record in the past is about an hour away (the very ridiculous and ironic part is that I work literally steps from four perfectly lovely concert halls every day-- but can I use those? No.), and the plan yesterday was for me to drive up after work...RIGHT at rush hour. After thinking about that for, oh, about five seconds, I realized that it was one of the dumbest plans I've ever made. Having just assumed we should do the recording in that particular space because we always have-- but still-- to drive up 95 at rush hour, on top of how nervous I usually get about making a recording...well, it would have been a disaster.
Well, it seems, my friends, that I had completely overlooked the perfectly wonderful recording venue in my OWN living room! Wood floors, high ceilings, silent neighbors, shutters to block street noise, and the best piano around! It seemed to good to be true, but we just thought: Let's try it, and see what happens. I felt so relaxed, happy, and, well, at home in my surroundings (having silenced the phones and taken the cats bells off), that I was able to get a great version of Donde lieta and Porgi, amor in two takes each. I tried for Je dis, but by that time, I was tired, and the aria itself makes me even tired-er, so, while one of the takes had some surprisingly good things in it, there were some not quite in tune moments, and some Renee-like over emoting problems. I didn't stress about it and sing it five more times (always to my poor little voice's detriment) like I usually do, because there is always tomorrow, when you are recording in your own house. Talk about unbelievable fortune, to listen to the play back and hear that the quality was great. I have never been more thrilled.
So tonight, we will come home, eat a normal dinner (Melissa's 4 step chicken with spinach and mashed potatoes because I have some Yukon golds that are on their last legs), and get back to work on finishing up.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Monday
What an insane weekend it was! I am barely recovered even now. I had the best time with Pierce, Nat, Mel, Shan, Joe, and the precious child. I love my friends. They are truly fabulous.
It was great seeing the newly-weds last night too!
This evening, it's time for a lesson-- and tomorrow night I embark on another recording adventure. My dreaded recording session each summer...and for some reason this time I am not nearly so nervous as usual. I will drink lots of water today and tomorrow, but beyond that, and not screaming or drinking to excess, there is nothing I can do. The CD will include, in no particular order (we'll see which turns out best!):
Donde lieta
Porgi, amor
Je dis que rien ne m'épouvante
Ah! fuggi il traditor
Měsíčku na nebi hlubokém
Kiss me not goodbye
Porgi, amor is the one that might not make it onto the recording...since I need that up-tempo Mozart, and Fuggi fills the bill so well, and is so blessedly short.
One might make a case for singing Mi tradi, or Dove sono in place of either of the two I mentioned above, but my thing is-- in auditions, if I'm not singing for the roles of Donna Elvira or the Countess, why not sing the more succinct of the options, they'll still know I can sing Mozart, either way.
In other news, I find myself wanting to write more and more about cooking... which is lame I know, when your blog is supposed to be about a soprano, not Top Chef. What to do, what to do...
It was great seeing the newly-weds last night too!
This evening, it's time for a lesson-- and tomorrow night I embark on another recording adventure. My dreaded recording session each summer...and for some reason this time I am not nearly so nervous as usual. I will drink lots of water today and tomorrow, but beyond that, and not screaming or drinking to excess, there is nothing I can do. The CD will include, in no particular order (we'll see which turns out best!):
Donde lieta
Porgi, amor
Je dis que rien ne m'épouvante
Ah! fuggi il traditor
Měsíčku na nebi hlubokém
Kiss me not goodbye
Porgi, amor is the one that might not make it onto the recording...since I need that up-tempo Mozart, and Fuggi fills the bill so well, and is so blessedly short.
One might make a case for singing Mi tradi, or Dove sono in place of either of the two I mentioned above, but my thing is-- in auditions, if I'm not singing for the roles of Donna Elvira or the Countess, why not sing the more succinct of the options, they'll still know I can sing Mozart, either way.
In other news, I find myself wanting to write more and more about cooking... which is lame I know, when your blog is supposed to be about a soprano, not Top Chef. What to do, what to do...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wednesday
I need a vodka soda. And a shopping spree, and a pedicure, and, well, a lot of things.
My mother has just announced she is moving onto a boat.
Time to drown my sorrows.
And did I mention I'm going to be thirty in less than two months?
My mother has just announced she is moving onto a boat.
Time to drown my sorrows.
And did I mention I'm going to be thirty in less than two months?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday
My my. I am an awfully good little blogging girl these days! Not much to report, really, except that I am enjoying this week, and the complete lack of a real schedule, a nice change, really.
Last night, we grilled burgers and had possibly the best three ears of corn ever grown by mankind, along with some parmesan garlic oven fries. The slight restlessness I feel due to the fact that, well, I don't know what to do with myself when I have five minutes in which nothing has been scheduled, has given way to a lot of boredom-induced cooking experiments. Most have been successful, and tonight, we try a spicy cheese grits recipe. I am most certainly a grit girl. I could eat grits, mashed potatoes, risotto, or any combination of the three all day long, every single day. If only I were an ancient Roman with a serviceable vomitorium, this might be a feasible way to live life.
I do feel the mild tug of a little bit of wanting to go to Wolf Trap and see some opera. But it is so hot and we are so comfortable at home, and I need to get the arias polished for my recording. And Susan has brought me a bottle of wine (something white and delicious from France) that is calling me.
Last night, we grilled burgers and had possibly the best three ears of corn ever grown by mankind, along with some parmesan garlic oven fries. The slight restlessness I feel due to the fact that, well, I don't know what to do with myself when I have five minutes in which nothing has been scheduled, has given way to a lot of boredom-induced cooking experiments. Most have been successful, and tonight, we try a spicy cheese grits recipe. I am most certainly a grit girl. I could eat grits, mashed potatoes, risotto, or any combination of the three all day long, every single day. If only I were an ancient Roman with a serviceable vomitorium, this might be a feasible way to live life.
I do feel the mild tug of a little bit of wanting to go to Wolf Trap and see some opera. But it is so hot and we are so comfortable at home, and I need to get the arias polished for my recording. And Susan has brought me a bottle of wine (something white and delicious from France) that is calling me.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday
It's Monday, again, and I noticed just today how few of my blog posts are ever written on a Monday. Must be because I have not an ounce of wit or creativity left after dragging myself out of bed and into the gym for the first time after a weekend off. In any case, this weekend was fun-- church was painless, I had a coaching with Ms. G, there was a fun evening at Cinghiale for Ms. Z's birthday, and yesterday I bought a new sports bra and 2 for $5 flip flops at Old Navy. :) Talk about fabulous.
As for my singing, I find that my current dilemma is discerning the best choices of repertoire, based on who I am, what I look like, and what I know I is special about my voice. In my coaching on Saturday, I brought a few oratorio pieces that I like and have worked on casually for a while, just to get an opinion on what could potentially be a hit for me. I adore Bach. I mean I really do, and while most of it feels really painful for me to sing, I do have a nominal level of comfort with "Blute nur," from S. Matthew Passion. And I guess because I love it so much, I have been rationalizing it right into my repertoire. Truthfully, I am not sure I'm always thrilled to hear the chirpiest of little boy sounds doing the soprano solos, and in fact one of my very favorite B-Minor Masses ever had REAL soprani for soloists-- you know, the loud kind. Or kind of loud, at least. But honestly, if I could really knock the socks off of a Brahms' Requiem and an Elijah, there are Bach specialists for the Bach, and there is no sense putting myself in the hospital over it.
In other news-- I made a successful risotto from scratch with bacon and asparagus! It was divine, and I am getting excited about maybe taking a cooking course with Ms. Z, too, in all my spare time! Just what I need! Another un-profitable hobby!
As for my singing, I find that my current dilemma is discerning the best choices of repertoire, based on who I am, what I look like, and what I know I is special about my voice. In my coaching on Saturday, I brought a few oratorio pieces that I like and have worked on casually for a while, just to get an opinion on what could potentially be a hit for me. I adore Bach. I mean I really do, and while most of it feels really painful for me to sing, I do have a nominal level of comfort with "Blute nur," from S. Matthew Passion. And I guess because I love it so much, I have been rationalizing it right into my repertoire. Truthfully, I am not sure I'm always thrilled to hear the chirpiest of little boy sounds doing the soprano solos, and in fact one of my very favorite B-Minor Masses ever had REAL soprani for soloists-- you know, the loud kind. Or kind of loud, at least. But honestly, if I could really knock the socks off of a Brahms' Requiem and an Elijah, there are Bach specialists for the Bach, and there is no sense putting myself in the hospital over it.
In other news-- I made a successful risotto from scratch with bacon and asparagus! It was divine, and I am getting excited about maybe taking a cooking course with Ms. Z, too, in all my spare time! Just what I need! Another un-profitable hobby!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday
I think it is time that I, shall we say, get my shit together. I've decided that I will do my recording early next week, which means I've got to take it easy on the wine, etc., this weekend. And that can be a real drag, if you know what I mean. But I have to say, I feel better than ever about this year's aria line-up, and for once feel that each one is a real winner for me, and something that shows my voice the way I want it to be shown, not to big, not to small.
IF I get it ready in time, my intention is to a apply for a grant to help pay for all the application fees this year, and some of the travel costs. Which may mean, friends, that I will also be able to pay my rent and buy groceries...
It's going to be a big year for me-- a milestone birthday, particularly lofty goals for my singing, and the return of Jessica to the GYM. I expressed my desire to a fellow gym rat yesterday: "I would like to be a supermodel by Christmas." And he laughed, saying that he thinks that chance may have come and gone...don't you have to be like 14 to be a model these days? About that milestone birthday...
So today, I've decided to make the obligatory yearly checklist for applications: who needs what, when, and where it needs to go. There is always the tiniest bit of fear that all will be in vain, when, as a soprano, I start to realize what the odds really are to even GET an audition. But it's what I have to do, and I will do it. And I will LOOK good doing it, and definitely do everything I can to SOUND good doing it.
IF I get it ready in time, my intention is to a apply for a grant to help pay for all the application fees this year, and some of the travel costs. Which may mean, friends, that I will also be able to pay my rent and buy groceries...
It's going to be a big year for me-- a milestone birthday, particularly lofty goals for my singing, and the return of Jessica to the GYM. I expressed my desire to a fellow gym rat yesterday: "I would like to be a supermodel by Christmas." And he laughed, saying that he thinks that chance may have come and gone...don't you have to be like 14 to be a model these days? About that milestone birthday...
So today, I've decided to make the obligatory yearly checklist for applications: who needs what, when, and where it needs to go. There is always the tiniest bit of fear that all will be in vain, when, as a soprano, I start to realize what the odds really are to even GET an audition. But it's what I have to do, and I will do it. And I will LOOK good doing it, and definitely do everything I can to SOUND good doing it.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday
Because this is a blog about my life, I am happy to report that there's a good deal more going on in it than just singing (although the more the better...hint, hint). However, finding ways to talk about it in a very public format without feeling that I am compromising my own privacy (privacy! what a novel notion!) and that of the other people in my life is a bit more challenging. Which is why I usually just stick to singing and the many layers of drama surrounding it. But, besides my ever-growing preoccupation with Czech, and the fact that I NEED need need to get a recording made stat, there's really not a lot to report on that front.
This weekend, though, Joe and I drove to the Midwest to help celebrate the wedding of one of our very best friends. It was such a fun trip, and so great to spend time with friends who came from Baltimore to help with all the details. I have often said that weddings bring out the very best and worst in people, and when you are the person getting married, you really discover in the truest of lights, who your friends are and what they are made of. The whole weekend had such a feeling of working together, and I felt like everyone who was there really wanted to make it a wonderful wedding for this special couple. The process was nostalgic for me, since it reminded me of ours, and the emotions are so intense during those few days of a wedding weekend. I am sooo lucky to have even a few people in my life that I know I can count on, and I wanted to be that kind of friend to my friend. Now that the wedding part is over, I can rest assured, too, that the marriage is going to be great, and that she is well taken care of.
Coming home Sunday night, it was funny to observe in myself how completely excited I was at the thought of cooking again! This from a girl who used to frequently exclaim "I just DON'T cook. Sorry." So last night, we had farm stand corn and green beans cooked with bacon the way my grandmother does it. I was a little nervous about those bean, I have to say, since I have spent pretty much my whole life eating them the way she makes them, and have always felt that even my mother, who is a fab cook, couldn't quite get them right. Well, I did it. And it was transcendent to say the least. :) Along with the vegetables, I decided I would go with my tried and true chicken crusted with panko and asiago, and went totally bonkers and made mashed potatoes too! The real kind, because I would never, ever feed myself the kind in a box. It's the closest thing to sin I can think of, and I don't even believe in sin.
Tonight, Joe's grilling some pork I've been marinading in lime, chilis, garlic and soy for about 24 hours, and I think there is no possible way I'll be able to wait til dinner.
This weekend, though, Joe and I drove to the Midwest to help celebrate the wedding of one of our very best friends. It was such a fun trip, and so great to spend time with friends who came from Baltimore to help with all the details. I have often said that weddings bring out the very best and worst in people, and when you are the person getting married, you really discover in the truest of lights, who your friends are and what they are made of. The whole weekend had such a feeling of working together, and I felt like everyone who was there really wanted to make it a wonderful wedding for this special couple. The process was nostalgic for me, since it reminded me of ours, and the emotions are so intense during those few days of a wedding weekend. I am sooo lucky to have even a few people in my life that I know I can count on, and I wanted to be that kind of friend to my friend. Now that the wedding part is over, I can rest assured, too, that the marriage is going to be great, and that she is well taken care of.
Coming home Sunday night, it was funny to observe in myself how completely excited I was at the thought of cooking again! This from a girl who used to frequently exclaim "I just DON'T cook. Sorry." So last night, we had farm stand corn and green beans cooked with bacon the way my grandmother does it. I was a little nervous about those bean, I have to say, since I have spent pretty much my whole life eating them the way she makes them, and have always felt that even my mother, who is a fab cook, couldn't quite get them right. Well, I did it. And it was transcendent to say the least. :) Along with the vegetables, I decided I would go with my tried and true chicken crusted with panko and asiago, and went totally bonkers and made mashed potatoes too! The real kind, because I would never, ever feed myself the kind in a box. It's the closest thing to sin I can think of, and I don't even believe in sin.
Tonight, Joe's grilling some pork I've been marinading in lime, chilis, garlic and soy for about 24 hours, and I think there is no possible way I'll be able to wait til dinner.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wednesday again!!! Time to blog
What a week since the last time I talked to you! The auditions were great, and they are over. I sang a very solid Donde lieta at one, and a semi-solid Je dis and very solid Fuggi il traditor at another. I have been working very hard lately at singing AS THE CHARACTER. Not as someone who is just pretending to be the character...which happens, I find, when I am singing with mostly technique in mind.
When we get back from this weekend's wedding, which, by the way, I am really looking forward to, I'll get to work on Rusalka, and start putting together a new recital program which will include just a ton of Brahms. Joe and I are addicted to Brahms.
I am really boring, actually. I pity any of you who try to read this!
When we get back from this weekend's wedding, which, by the way, I am really looking forward to, I'll get to work on Rusalka, and start putting together a new recital program which will include just a ton of Brahms. Joe and I are addicted to Brahms.
I am really boring, actually. I pity any of you who try to read this!
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Wednesday
I embarrass myself at every turn. This morning it was when I was on the elliptical at the gym. The Today Show (I hate the today show) was on the big TV and the obligatory replay of the Michael Jackson Memorial was on. It wasn't long after the gospel choir began singing "Soon and very soon," that I started to feel the tears welling up, as I frantically tried to keep pedaling. By the time we got to the clip of little Paris' tribute, well, I had kind of totally lost it. My iconoclastic self was fighting it all the way, and I looked around, hoping that my ridiculous tears were blending in with the sweat.
Who ever heard of crying at the gym?
I mean, I still can't believe I even go to the gym.
Who ever heard of crying at the gym?
I mean, I still can't believe I even go to the gym.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Tuesday
There is so much internal drama for me these last couple days that I am waking up with headaches and it's been tough to get myself to work in the mornings...but today, I made the very brilliant decision to listen to some Freni/Pavarotti in the office, before anyone else showed up. And I feel better already.
The beach was beyond fun. Poor or not poor, you can always count on a nice sunny day, and a gorgeous tan to bring you out of your financially-driven mood slump. I am very lucky, also, because there is no one in the whole world I would rather hang out with than Joe, and the fact that I happen to be married to him makes life even better.
This week and next, I'm getting ready for several auditions, and my first lesson in over a month. I'm feeling a little jaw tension these days-- not necessarily when I'm singing (we singers are super careful to make sure that isn't allowed to sneak in), but just walking around in everyday life, and I'm a little concerned about that-- might be time to start sleeping with a bite plate. And I'm pretty sure the headachy stuff is related as well. We shall see. At this point, I don't think it's affecting my singing, except for the fact that I don't particularly feel like practicing! Don't tell my teacher, but I pop an advil and then head to the piano to warm up.
After the auditions and my friend's wedding are over, the next directive is my audition recording, and making some decisions about repertoire. It's difficult to know where to place myself on the sliding scale of vocal weight and what to sing when I can't hear myself in any real or trustworthy way, until, of course, the recording is made. It's so easy to hear someone else and know just what I think they should sing! But everyday, it's more clear exactly where I fit, and I do feel that the roles in which I've been cast of late are placing me into a category that I like being in: big Italian. This is good. The hardest part about being a singer is wishing you could be a kind of singer that is NOT what you actually are at all. Now, beyond the fact that it would be wicked cool to be able to whip out some Queen of the Night on someone's ass, I have always wanted to basically be a lyric soprano. And, folks, it looks like that's what I am. I think my look works for that type of role as well, aside from not being a supermodel yet. But we're working on that. Four damn days a week we're working on it, people.
The beach was beyond fun. Poor or not poor, you can always count on a nice sunny day, and a gorgeous tan to bring you out of your financially-driven mood slump. I am very lucky, also, because there is no one in the whole world I would rather hang out with than Joe, and the fact that I happen to be married to him makes life even better.
This week and next, I'm getting ready for several auditions, and my first lesson in over a month. I'm feeling a little jaw tension these days-- not necessarily when I'm singing (we singers are super careful to make sure that isn't allowed to sneak in), but just walking around in everyday life, and I'm a little concerned about that-- might be time to start sleeping with a bite plate. And I'm pretty sure the headachy stuff is related as well. We shall see. At this point, I don't think it's affecting my singing, except for the fact that I don't particularly feel like practicing! Don't tell my teacher, but I pop an advil and then head to the piano to warm up.
After the auditions and my friend's wedding are over, the next directive is my audition recording, and making some decisions about repertoire. It's difficult to know where to place myself on the sliding scale of vocal weight and what to sing when I can't hear myself in any real or trustworthy way, until, of course, the recording is made. It's so easy to hear someone else and know just what I think they should sing! But everyday, it's more clear exactly where I fit, and I do feel that the roles in which I've been cast of late are placing me into a category that I like being in: big Italian. This is good. The hardest part about being a singer is wishing you could be a kind of singer that is NOT what you actually are at all. Now, beyond the fact that it would be wicked cool to be able to whip out some Queen of the Night on someone's ass, I have always wanted to basically be a lyric soprano. And, folks, it looks like that's what I am. I think my look works for that type of role as well, aside from not being a supermodel yet. But we're working on that. Four damn days a week we're working on it, people.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Wednesday
Well, the riveting news today is that I went to the gym for day one of the opera singer/super model directive. I've got the height, I just need the skinny.
It was ACTUALLY fun to work out, I have to say, although I bet I will be sore tomorrow. One bad thing was that I forgot to get a bath towel from the desk and had taken off all my clothes and had a leg in the shower before I realized I didn't have a towel. That was a drag. But the gym is bright, new, clean and upbeat, and I am happy to be there, and very happy with how I feel after I'm done.
We're taking off for the beach tomorrow afternoon, and I have to say, at my level of brokeness, I just don't know how much fun can be had. But then, it doesn't cost a cent to lay on a beach. It's just the eating and the drinking, really, that's the problem. :) Ah, life! We'll be back in time, however, to mooch off my mother for the Fourth of July on her roof top deck... But with the sun shining, and a three day weekend, how can life NOT be fantastic?
It was ACTUALLY fun to work out, I have to say, although I bet I will be sore tomorrow. One bad thing was that I forgot to get a bath towel from the desk and had taken off all my clothes and had a leg in the shower before I realized I didn't have a towel. That was a drag. But the gym is bright, new, clean and upbeat, and I am happy to be there, and very happy with how I feel after I'm done.
We're taking off for the beach tomorrow afternoon, and I have to say, at my level of brokeness, I just don't know how much fun can be had. But then, it doesn't cost a cent to lay on a beach. It's just the eating and the drinking, really, that's the problem. :) Ah, life! We'll be back in time, however, to mooch off my mother for the Fourth of July on her roof top deck... But with the sun shining, and a three day weekend, how can life NOT be fantastic?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday
Oh. My. Goodness. I have a headache. Last night was tooooo fun. Stu and I just had the best time at musical theater night. Well, I did. I'm not sure, but Stu may have been really embarrassed when I belted out the high C in "Tonight."
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday
I found a real Czech to help me with my Czech!! Sweet Ms. T, a faculty member here at school. She has set aside a little time to help me and I am so grateful.
It was a weekend full of going places, DC, Alexandria, Annapolis. And I'm pretty sure tonight I'm going with Stu to musical theater karaoke night at a bar somewhere outside the city. Which, I 'm sure will prove to be quite humiliating. But hey, if you drink enough, you don't even know you should be embarrassed.
I can't believe I am actually doing this, but I am joining a gym, people. I've really been holding out, because, besides your average walking I absolutely despise exercising. I mean really hate it. I hate sweating, I hate showering and getting dressed in public places, and it's just generally annoying. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and I need to look like a model to be a successful singer, apparently. So, here I come elliptical machines. At least I will have a chance to really catch up on my magazine reading.
It was a weekend full of going places, DC, Alexandria, Annapolis. And I'm pretty sure tonight I'm going with Stu to musical theater karaoke night at a bar somewhere outside the city. Which, I 'm sure will prove to be quite humiliating. But hey, if you drink enough, you don't even know you should be embarrassed.
I can't believe I am actually doing this, but I am joining a gym, people. I've really been holding out, because, besides your average walking I absolutely despise exercising. I mean really hate it. I hate sweating, I hate showering and getting dressed in public places, and it's just generally annoying. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and I need to look like a model to be a successful singer, apparently. So, here I come elliptical machines. At least I will have a chance to really catch up on my magazine reading.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Tuesday
I'm home, and every time I come back, I realize how much I love being here. Why would I ever want to leave? Every time we go to NYC, we talk about moving there, but then I come back to darling little Balto, and it all just feels right. For right now, at any rate.
My children (cats) missed me very much.
When I was on the way home, I got the call from a company I sang (well) for a few weeks ago, offering me a small role in a Verdi opera. It was a really good feeling, I have to say. It's a small part, but a showy one, and I am kind of flattered to have gotten it, never having known the artistic director, or worked for the company before. Maybe I am doing something right? Maybe?
In other news, I am way too excited to go to the grocery tonight and get back to cooking. It's a dorky thing to say, but I am delighted nonetheless. I'm thinking asiago-encrusted pork chops, grilled asparagus, and a big salad. It's time for horrific West Virginia food detox. Definitely.
As for West Virginia, our hotel was very nice, and family non-dramatic, though slightly irritating. Only a little. :) The food, however. Well, they need to work on that. But Aaron and Matt made up for it last night when we got back and they took us out for a delish tapas meal at Pazo.
Love to all you bloggles!
My children (cats) missed me very much.
When I was on the way home, I got the call from a company I sang (well) for a few weeks ago, offering me a small role in a Verdi opera. It was a really good feeling, I have to say. It's a small part, but a showy one, and I am kind of flattered to have gotten it, never having known the artistic director, or worked for the company before. Maybe I am doing something right? Maybe?
In other news, I am way too excited to go to the grocery tonight and get back to cooking. It's a dorky thing to say, but I am delighted nonetheless. I'm thinking asiago-encrusted pork chops, grilled asparagus, and a big salad. It's time for horrific West Virginia food detox. Definitely.
As for West Virginia, our hotel was very nice, and family non-dramatic, though slightly irritating. Only a little. :) The food, however. Well, they need to work on that. But Aaron and Matt made up for it last night when we got back and they took us out for a delish tapas meal at Pazo.
Love to all you bloggles!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday
Wow. What a weekend. So many fun things to do, that I'm afraid I need some recovery time. :)
Today, I have kind of promised myself that I will get down to business really learning some of my new pieces, but I can't seem to motivate myself. Usually, I can do anything thing if I say that after I have learned 10 or so pages I can have a grape vodka with club soda. But today even that is not working.
Wednesday and Thursday, we are in New York, and it will be a fun get away, except that I am really hoping we don't talk about piano the whole time, as I will be with a bunch of pianists the whole time. That could only end in me feeling rather dumb. Perhaps I can run away with Brent for a little while.
In other news, I am not quite sure how it happened, but I have accidentally bought a couple of pretty bags on E-bay lately, and am kind of addicted. This can be quite deadly for a girl who really needs to spend all her extra money on vocal development. I can't stop myself from opening up my favorite searches and looking through bag after bag, barely able to ward off the temptation to click on "place a bid." Because they are such wonderful deals, and such wonderful arm candy, and I am very good at rationalizing any number of things and why I most certainly deserve to have them. But being broke helps keep you from doing dumb things.
It's almost time for lunch!
Today, I have kind of promised myself that I will get down to business really learning some of my new pieces, but I can't seem to motivate myself. Usually, I can do anything thing if I say that after I have learned 10 or so pages I can have a grape vodka with club soda. But today even that is not working.
Wednesday and Thursday, we are in New York, and it will be a fun get away, except that I am really hoping we don't talk about piano the whole time, as I will be with a bunch of pianists the whole time. That could only end in me feeling rather dumb. Perhaps I can run away with Brent for a little while.
In other news, I am not quite sure how it happened, but I have accidentally bought a couple of pretty bags on E-bay lately, and am kind of addicted. This can be quite deadly for a girl who really needs to spend all her extra money on vocal development. I can't stop myself from opening up my favorite searches and looking through bag after bag, barely able to ward off the temptation to click on "place a bid." Because they are such wonderful deals, and such wonderful arm candy, and I am very good at rationalizing any number of things and why I most certainly deserve to have them. But being broke helps keep you from doing dumb things.
It's almost time for lunch!
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